SAY THAT AGAIN?

So my officemate and I were horsing around in this hotel in Chang An city, in the Chinese province of Dongguan. Chang An isn't really like Shanghai, which is a well developed city. It's one of those satellite cities selected to host technoparks, which are sites for endless factory buildings churning fine merchandise worthy of the likes of Walmart. Anyway, so we're here at the only five star hotel in the area. It's 2 o'clock in the morning and we just came back from dinner and a massage. Nothing to talk about the massage, really. I didn't get any action.

It's a pretty big hotel. A LOT bigger than Shangrila Makati. It's really extravagant, with a lobby that leaves you breathless. But you see, you're still in China. And people here don't speak very good conversational English. It's like you're hearing something off from a textbook when you talk with them. And when they do try to say something they hear from Western TV, it doesn't sound quite right. Case in point: There's a karaoke/bar in the hotel. We know it closes at around 3am. So we come up to the receptionist and ask what else to do, aside from singing and drinks.

She says, "Oh, you just missed the song, dance, and sex."

WHOA?! SEX? Did she just say sex?

"What?" I asked. "There's song, dance, and what else?"

"Sex."

"Sex?"

"Yes." Then she proceeds to put both her hands in front, and wraps around an imaginary shaft. "Sex!"

"Really?"

Then she turns to the stage and points towards, of all things, a saxophone.

This country never ceases to amuse me.

And oh, just to let you know, this is typical fare for business lunch in this area.

I'M SO INSENSITIVE




And just when you thought the world couldn't be any more stranger, or more unfair, than it already is, you run across this piece of news that leaves you not knowing whether to laugh or to sympathize.

A TYPICAL DAY

5:00 I wake up
5:05 Start making breakfast. Usually coffee and a cup of oatmeal.
5:15 Sit down. Watch TV. Eat breakfast.
5:30 Watch TV.
6:00 Still watching TV.
6:30 Still watching.
7:00 Take a bath.
7:15 Get dressed.
7:30 Out of the house.
7:40 In the car. Off to work.
8:45 In the office.
9:00 Boot up computer. Work.
12:00 Lunch
1:30 Back from lunch.
1:35 Back to work.
7:00 Drive back home.
8:30 Back home.
8:35 Dinner
9:00 Take a bath.
9:15 Watch TV.
11:00 Sleep.

Today's a little different. I actually managed to take 15 minutes to remind everyone in Bloggerland I'm still alive.

How's your day?

YOU'RE MY BOY, BLUE!



Patrick Cranshaw, who achieved cult-like status as fraternity brother "Blue" in the 2003 comedy "Old School," has died. He was 86.

I love you Blue. I will miss you.

MIDLIFE CRISIS, MEDIA HARASSMENT, AMONG OTHER THINGS

When it rains, it pours. Depression is starting to sink in. Things have not progressed significantly at work. I still spend the better part of the day browsing from one website to another, and though this may not be totally bad, it gave me a chance to touch base with long lost email friends. Other than that, I feel I'm now totally up to date with what's going on with the world around me. I think I can join any online trivia contests and I'll leave you all eating dust in my wake. That's how good I am now. That's how much free time I have.

I wish I could just tell you about what's really eating me. But not just yet. I'm still hoping I'll get that phonecall which could possibly change my life forever. It's been almost a month since that meeting, but I feel like they've left me hanging. Nothing surprising really, considering that they've done this before, but now that it's happening on such a critical juncture, it's just so frustrating that they do this. I'm still hoping. I just don't know how I'll react if things don't go the way I want them.

So here, I'm trying to live life by the day. Waiting. Surfing. And getting my car crashed yet again. Happened last Friday. Terrible traffic on C5, at that U-turn slot in front of BMW Autohaus. I was making a left hand turn at the slot then wham, got hit up my Lancer's ass by a spanking new Nissan X-trail. There was the usual fanfare: traffic so bad the tail end must've reached Ortigas flyover; two irate drivers, of course I was the cooler one, but irate nonetheless. Things soured when we were Camp Karingal for the investigation. The other driver, it turned out, was driving his wife's company car, an issue from GMA Channel 7. You should've seen the wife! She was strutting up and down the police station, with her media ID pinned for everyone to see! Names were dropped and wallah!, poor Sisig was found to be at fault.

SPO2 Patulot! Hindi kita tatantanan, anak ka ng tipaklong!! Wala akong pakialam kung kumpare mo si Gus Abelgas pero sa pagkakataong ito, magpaliwanag ka!! How did you ever graduate from police school? Simpleng banggaan lang hindi mo malaman kung sino may kasalanan, ano pa kaya kung ma-rape ang misis mo? Hay... it's cops like you who make me feel so ashamed I'm Pinoy.

Anyway, that episode is done and over with. Unless you want me to get into the details of how the wife called me on a Sunday afternoon demanding she get a copy of my insurance policy. Ok. It's now with you. But let's just see how easy it will be for you to actually get anything out of it. Don't tell me I didn't offer to settle ha?

So much angst, so early in the day. Gotta stop. I need my yosi break.

REGRET

I'm finally going to be honest with myself.

I think I made a wrong decision.

I'm not happy where I am.

The money's good but...

I'm not happy with this job.

BLOND. JAMES BLOND.


Daniel Craig is officially the next James Bond. The first blond James Bond. Somehow, he doesn't really stand out as a Bond guy. Not like this one...


O! Yan ang James Bond!!

OVERHEARD RECENTLY...

...on a flight from San Francisco to Japan. The flight attendant was serving breakfast prior to landing in Narita. She asked the Chinese guy, "Would you like omelette or fried rice?" The poor Chinese guy was confused. "Omelette or fried rice?", the flight attendant repeated.

"Cannot both?!"

Honga naman...

Moving on... I finally got an Ipod! My new baby's a 20gb, photo Ipod. Sobrang enjoy. A full charge lasted the whole trip from San Francisco all the way to Manila. I've used up a little over 6.7gb and that's all the mp3's I've collected for the past couple of years! Yey!! Now let's try what podcasting is all about...

And if anyone's interested, some pictures from the Boston and New York trips are posted on 10xzoom.

REQUEST FROM ARA

As requested...

what are the things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you?
smoke.
watch dvd's.
experiment with making different cocktails.
drink.
then smoke again.

what lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?
smoke.
drink.
smoke again.
drive around the city and waste 1/4 tank of gas (although i should really cut this habit down).
smoke. again.

7 things that scare you
rejection.
meeting my ex and her husband, who happens to be my best friend in college.
my dark past catching up on me.
losing my job.
losing my hair.
my children, if ever i do have children, doing the same bullshit i'm doing.
my wife doing the same bullshit i'm doing.

7 things you like most
the internet. isn't it wonderful being able to escape reality with a couple of keystrokes?
techno music.
a nice, fat cuban cigar.
the smell of a new car.
riding planes.
sizzling sisig and several cold bottles of cerveza negra.
a big, fat paycheck.

7 important things in your bedroom
my wife lying next to me.
a pillow underneath my feet.
alarm clock.
tv remote.
airline magazines i've collected over the months.
fhm and uno magazines i've collected over the years.
okamoto 0.03.

7 random facts about you
i listen to am radio. every morning.
my day is not complete without coffee.
i only wear g-shock watches.
i don't sleep on hotel beds. i sleep on the couch.
i love texting.
i keep receipts from significant occassions in my wallet.
i shave.

7 things you plan to do before you die
spend a week in ibiza.
go on a drinking spree with a movie/tv celebrity (preferably someone from viva hotbabes).
join politics.
put up a business.
take my mom, my brother, his girlfriend, my sister, and her husband on a shopping spree, buy anything you want, in rockwell.
take my wife for dinner at a five star hotel in manhattan.
say i love you to my wife.

7 things you can do
drive at 140kph and text at the same time.
be dj.
kiss without tongueplay.
figure out how to beat the company's internet firewall to view porn and download music.
cook a mean chicken and pork adobo.
make mangorita.
ignore streetkids.

7 things you can't do
drive at 140kph and take a call at the same time.
look at my ex straight in the eye.
lie properly.
accompany my wife to buy christmas presents.
go alcohol free on a weekend.
go nicotine free for a half day.
ignore streetkids and not feel guilty.

7 things that attract you to the opposite sex
butt.
boobs.
brain. should be a good conversationalist. otherwise the first two will be meaningless. really.
playful eyes.
a sense of humor.
must have something to say about anything and everything.
a flirty attitude.

7 things you say the most
"brilliant!"
"tokwa!"
"jesus christ!"
"oh god!"
"more. more. more."
"yes, right there."
"was it good for you, as it was for me?"

7 celeb crushes
angel locsin
anne curtis
jessica alba
elisha cuthbert
cindy kurleto
kelly misa
nicole hernandez

7 people you want to take this quiz
gma
president bush
rita
lia
trixy
sarah
ayah

LUCKY BLOKE

If I were the student mentioned in this article, I wouldn't be pressing charges either!

And speaking of threesomes... . Hahaha. You'll have to know my other blog to find out!